Outdoors - A fish out of water

   As most of my readers know, I live out in the boondocks. A traffic jam around here is an Amish buggy with two cars behind it. Stop signs are considered suggestions and used to determine who goes first on the rare occasion two vehicles meet at an intersection at the same time and neither stops.

   Last week, I spent most of my time in Des Moines as a visitor at one of the hospitals. Des Moines is not a big city, but compared to Drakesville, it is huge. I spent a fair amount of time getting on the wrong streets going to and from the hospital. I decided it would be in my best interest to obey most of the traffic laws. People in Des Moines drive with a determination as though they have someplace important to go on a set timeline.

   Getting around the city, though difficult with random one way streets, was nothing compared to getting around in the hospital. The hospital has been built over a number of decades on a side hill with buildings connected by tunnels, skywalks, and concourses. There were elevators that did not go to the floor where I needed to be. There were hallways that started on one floor and ended on another. I only needed to learn three things. How to find the front door, the cafeteria, and of course, my wife. There were times I was sure I would starve to death before I found the dining room. I stopped one time and got a snack from a vending machine, sure I was not going to find the cafeteria. I was to the point; I could go from the front door to my wife’s room without getting lost when they moved her. A person can always stop and ask an employee for directions, but I did run into a couple of them that were as confused as me. It took me a few days, but I finally found a solution.

   Out in the timber around here, or even in the mountains while hunting, I can find my way around with ease. A person can look at the position of the sun during the day and the stars at night. Moss grows on the north side of trees and streams flow downhill. Inside buildings, all these are taken away. After spending hours lost inside of the hospital, I decided the easiest way to find my way around was to go outside. To get to the cafeteria, all I had to do was exit the front door, take a right and walk about one block, take another right and walk another block. Being outside, I could tell where I was going and the distance was anywhere from a few blocks to several miles shorter, counting unplanned routes.

   Happily, I was able to find the vehicle, my wife, and the front door at the time we were able to leave the hospital. We made a beeline south, directly for the boondocks and home. All is well now, and I no longer feel like a fish out of water. I do not have to worry about traffic or wandering aimlessly inside a strange and disorganized hospital building.